Romantic movies are going to be my downfall. I mean it. I’ve watched way too many of them for my own good. I’ll also add any TV shows with romance in them, which is pretty much all of them.
What I mean by this is that my whole perception of what relationships are like or are supposed to be like is skewed from this mess. I’ve grown to believe that a relationship cannot function without that necessary essence of romance. I have no one to blame but those movies. And my father, maybe, for showing those movies to me in the first place.
So I’m a hopeless romantic, sue me. I don’t think anyone cares that I am and most of the time my friends go “Aww, isn’t it sweet that she thinks reality is actually like that?” The problem that I have isn’t how others view my romantic self, it’s simply how I view my own reality.
The problem isn’t that I can’t distinguish reality from fantasy. It’s that I don’t think it’s possible for any of those fantasies to come true because, quite frankly, who would do any of that romantic crap for me? No, this isn’t me having low self-esteem (that would be a much longer post), it’s more of “I don’t think any of the guys I would date would be into that stuff even though I am.” No, I don’t think I’m the girl worth running to the airport for, or the girl worth having a specially planned evening for. In my head I am, but in reality, I don’t think many view me as this way. I don’t think I’m Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Roman Holiday in that some really attractive guy thinks I’m worth having adventures with for a whole day. I know I’m not her, because let’s face it, if I was anything like her, I would not be rambling like this and would instead be more awesome than writing on my Tumblr in between classes.