I have really high goals for my future. They include but are not limited to:
Interning for Anderson Cooper
Joining a roller derby team
Traveling around the world and hardly ever stopping for a moment
Living in London, Paris, New York, Buenos Aires, Shanghai, and Cape Town, but not necessarily in that order
Running a non-profit organization that will ultimately end world hunger (yay!)
Getting a Nobel Peace Prize for ending world hunger (I’m so humble aren’t I?)
Becoming Secretary of State (mainly so that I can have my own private plane but not pay for it. I did say that I’m humble right?)
Writing several books that make people laugh because I am so witty and charming and perfect. (HUMBLE!!!)
Becoming a professor at a university (so that I can brag about all of my accomplishments and be humble)
Retire somehow with a lot of money so that I have my own private library that is a replica of the one in Beauty and the Beast. Nothing less will suffice. (HUMBLE HUMBLE HUMBLE!!!)
I often daydream about this future because I sometimes find myself not being able to deal with the present. It’s nice to think that all these things will somehow happen in my future, but I know they aren’t very likely. I think at most I can live in two of the cities that I listed, try out for a roller derby team, and attempt a million times to write a book but then discover that I am incapable of finishing it. Maybe it’s due to procrastination, but it’s more likely that I’ll start it and realize that I have absolutely nothing to write about. I know since I have already tried writing at least three different stories only to find out that they aren’t stories because stories generally involve having a plot. None of my stories had that. I guess that would be important then.
Sometimes I fantasize about these things more than I actually try to resolve problems in the present, which is a problem in itself. I don’t know if it’s exactly my way of “coping” with current issues or just sheer cowardice of facing the present. I’ll say it’s a way of coping so that I can get out of bed in the morning. The issues that make me want to stay in bed don’t just include personal ones, but the plain old “humanity makes me want to die” argument, i.e. any sort of prejudice or discrimination, famine, rape, genocide, you know, all that crap that if anyone dwells on for too long they’ll end up jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.
It’s midnight and I’m rambling and I don’t know how to stop and oh dear god someone please stop me before I start writing even more blither.